Don't Panic!

Last week I freaked out. I mean, I had a serious writer’s meltdown. It included tears and despair and hopelessness. Actually a lot of tears. (I cry at commercials.) I was reading through the rough draft of the climatic scene of my 3rd book.

A friend who is always honest with me, delicately pointed out that it was…. (cringe) FLAT.

He was being kind. It was pure crap. Horrible. Messy. It had as much tension as a broken piece of yarn. And short. Depressingly short. And I had no idea how to fix it. Or even if it could be fixed.

Thus, the meltdown of epic proportions. I wasn’t a writer. I was a fraud. Flop. Amateur. I sucked. Everything I did, sucked. And sucked in the worst possible way.

This isn’t the first time I’ve gone through this. Nor am I the first writer to go through this. I’m pretty sure there are some very popular and prolific writers out ther that go through this morass of depressing self doubt.

Now, this is not to be confused with Writer’s Block. That’s another little monster that will get its own post someday. 

But, guess what? It’ll pass. There are important things you need to remember as you dry your tears: ALL first drafts suck. If anyone tells you differently, they are lying or delusional. The first draft is nothing more than a skeleton. The foundation of your story. The crucial starting point, not the end product.

This is what I did. After sobbing for a number of hours and exhausting myself. I forced myself to read it again. Yeah, it was still pretty disappointing, but I realized something important. I was still okay with the WHAT happens. It was the HOW that sucked. The framework was there. I just needed to give it some life. 

I was looking at two thousand words in desperate need of help. I broke the action down by what takes place and in what order. I realized I left a lot of things out. There was no description of where the action was taking place. No internal dialog from the characters. No details of the action itself. Just a list of things that happen.

Once I realized I had to build on what was already there (and pay homage to the grammar monkey), I was able to calm down. So those two thousand words became five thousand. The tension leading to the action was hyped up. The tension I felt I was able to inject into expanding on what I had already written. 

I was able to fix it. I’m also feeling a whole lot better with the result. So don’t panic. You’ll know if you

need to fix it or replace it. Let the emotion you feel out and then dive back in and take care of your darling. After all. YOU are the Writer. This is your story, your world. You RULE!

New vs Old Authors

 I had an interesting conversation lately. It started with an observation by a friend about science fiction authors (well known ones) coming to the end of their careers. I wasn’t aware that writers were even capable of retiring unless they were dead. They write until they croak. In some cases someone will take over and continue writing for them.

Needless to say, that didn’t sit that well with me. I’m a Golden Girl.

This led to another conversation about age and publishing. I was told, by a person who dabbled at writing, that publishing a book was a young person’s game, especially fiction. Apparently there are some that believe that if you’ve crossed the big 5-0, then the books you write are memoirs or historical topics.

They didn't think they could craft a book that would appeal to younger readers. Or they didn’t think they could write characters younger than they were. Or they thought the environments they would write in would be too dated. Or they weren’t computer savvy enough to write an eBook. Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.

Now on the other end of the spectrum are those that think they’re not old enough to write a book. They believe they don’t have enough experience. Or they haven’t been around long enough to be taken seriously. 

I did a little research. Mary Shelley, the author of Frankenstein completed that manuscript before she was 21. Stephen King is currently 73 and he has a book set to come out in 2021. 

What this tells me, is that age doesn’t matter. This is just a reason that some use not to get that book

out. Another thing they allow to hold them back. I heard someone say that out there somewhere is a reader with a hole in their soul that is the shape of your book.

You have that story inside you. Write it. Someone will love it as much as you do. 

Don’t let ageism stop you.

Interview with the Grumpy Author

Writing is work. It takes effort to mute all the outside distractions in order to spend time in that glorious inner world where everything goes according to your plan. But there are times when the outside world fuels that inner world and the oddest things happen. The world takes on more depths. This of course would be fine if that author was full of sunshine and light.

Allow me to introduce to you Ms. Grumpy T. Author. Her normal job has been customer service in a variety of fields, often dealing with the public at its worst. This prolific writer of dozens of unpublished novels recently agreed to sit down at my desk to fume and grouse and distract me from my world of sunshine and light. While I’m sure she has reason for her given name, she can be something of a distraction. So to deal with her, I decided to do an interview. Fortunately she was willing to go along with it.

----

Me: Thanks for taking the time to speak to me today.

GA: Why not? You have coffee.

Me: Yes… well… let's talk about your writing habits.

GA: (inhaling a huge mug of coffee) My habit isn’t writing. My habit is plotting something painful for the people in my life.

Me: Uh… Well, there has been a question about the number of murders that occur in your novels. Why so many..

GA: I don’t know. Why do so many people piss me off during the day?

Me: Are you always so grumpy?

GA: Nah. I wake up first. Then someone opens their mouth and here I am.

Me: Seriously though. The deaths of the victims in your stories are pretty horrific. Why is that?

GA: The victimology is dependent on how much the real person annoyed me. You can tell how much I get annoyed as no one dies peacefully in their sleep.

Me: Even your villains die horribly.

GA: Can’t salvage a sociopath.

Me: Do you ever see something of yourself in your characters?

GA: Yeah… sometimes I’m the sociopath.

Me: Do you think, therefore, your characters can redeem you from your murderous ways? Will one of them demand to be spared?

GA: Oh please, just be thankful I leave the heroes alive.

Me: (clears throat) So… Do you enjoy the detail that you put into your stories?

GA: Well…. Yeah. I mean, if you’re going to write a serial killer, you have to pay attention to detail in order to remain consistent throughout the story.

Me: Then is it important to have connections between your heroes and villains?

GA: (frowns) Well, duh. I mean if there was no connection, then why would the hero bother to stop him? I mean seriously… 

Me: So, for clarification, what is the difference between a villain and a henchman?

GA: (snorts) The easy answer? They die first. 

Me: Uh…

GA: Oh come on. If it wasn’t for the henchmen making stupid mistakes, the villain would be able to get away with what he does. I don’t do much with henchmen. Rookie mistake to add them.

Me: Um, okay then. Moving on. Are there benefits of recurring villains?

GA: Why not ask me a hard question? That’s easy. I don’t have to make up a new guy in every book. (shrugs) Although I suppose he has to get caught eventually. (feral smile) Though very useful in creating a series of books.

Me: Well, thanks Ms. Author. That’s all the time we have today. It’s been an interesting experience talking to you.

GA: Heh. This was fun. What’s your name again? I need another victim.

Me: (swallows hard)

Holiday Cards

Kill Your Darlings

Kill Your Darlings. This is a recent phrase I’ve heard from other authors in the twitterverse. It took me a bit to realize what it meant. Then I realized it's the same as when I say Eviscerate Your Baby. Just less gruesome.

The editing process is a battle. Grammar is only part of it. Consistency is a huge part of the story. Characters, scenes, locations, world rules. Ever get lost in your writing and then forget what color eyes your main character has? I’ve had the main character go through three different eye colors without explanation. 

This is an important part of the writing process, although when you do it is up to you. If you are a Planner, you’ve likely written bios, description of locations and all the world building steps there are. In your case, if you change something as you’re writing, you make notes in your files.

For a Pantser, like me, it’s a lot tougher. We let the ideas just flow out, if we’re lucky, and that’s where we run into problems. Like eye color. Staying consistent during the first draft is not only tricky, but a challenge to the writing process.

So, how do you keep track of everything? A mass of post-it notes on every surface? Don’t you wish you had a wiki to keep everything organized? Guess what? There is something that can help. Zim - A Desktop Wiki. A friend recommended this site to me and I have been using it ever since. 

Zim gives you a place to make notes as you go along and maintains that consistency you need without interrupting your writing process. It’s also great for keeping track of those terms that are unique to your own writing. 

For example, in my Section Seven Case Files series, I have people who are capable of magic called Magum. As I write, I have to develop what they can and cannot do. Making notes in Zim as I go along leaves me free to finish the first draft. It became a key component when I go through the 2nd draft of the book to maintain the consistency.

How do you keep track of your novel’s world and rules? Comment below.

Three Years And Counting

 I haven’t posted to my blog for a long time. Did you miss me? I missed all of you. So why haven’t I posted? Life got  in the way. It certainly wasn’t lack of interest. It was Cancer.

So, three years ago I was diagnosed with Stage IV Breast Cancer. A very aggressive fast growing version. Which required a lot of treatment (Chemotherapy, Surgery, Radiation, Immunotherapy). It started in my right breast and then quickly moved into my lymph nodes. 

The early diagnosis was bad. When the surgeon told me that there was nothing he could do, I very nearly lost it. It was like he was signing my death certificate in advance. Fortunately, my Oncologist wasn’t the type to just give up and move on to the next patient. She held my hand, let me cry and then went to war against it. She also came down on the surgeon for his attitude.

So, here I am, 3 years later. 3 years I might not have had if I hadn’t kept fighting. By doing everything I was required to do to take full advantage of all my treatments. 

I must admit, the side effects are pretty bad. Some of which will be with me for the rest of my life. But, I’m not giving up. I’m still here. Still winning against it. 

I didn’t do this alone. My husband has been and is my rock. Fighting his own fears, stayed by my side every step of the way. He pointed out that even this was included in our wedding vows. In sickness and in health. The man is a saint.

Now I’m making a choice. Not only will I continue the fight against Cancer, but I plan to get back into the groove of writing. So expect to see more of me writing about the things I love.

The Casting Couch

You’re starting your book. You’ve worked out the plot, the main characters have names, and you have a general idea what they look like. Or do you?

Some authors have the ability to mentally see what their character looks like in precise detail. That little mole under the left eye. The long eyelashes unfairly given to a man. The tiny scar she has on the edge of her collarbone. The way the hair grows back from her brow.

Unfortunately, I’m not that good at that. I generally manage hair color, eye color, and probably height. I get stuck on coming up with details beyond that. I can’t mentally see them beyond a vague blur of their features.

I flip the idea sideways to make it work for me. If this was a movie, who would I cast in the role of the main character. Then bang (!) I have a clear image of what my character looks like and some physical traits which I can modify depending on my plot needs.

Let me give you an example of how that worked for me.

In the book Watching Shadows - Book 1: Paranormal Shadows I had the character of Tyler Buchanan. I knew the kind of person he was and that he had a quirky sense of humor and charm. But for his physical description… Vague is the word. Until I saw him on television. More precisely, I saw him on MacGyver. Richard Dean Anderson became the physical template of Tyler Buchanan. I aged him a little, put a few gray hairs at his temple and suddenly he became easier to write and describe. His personality settled right in with a perfect fit.

I did the same with other characters in the story. Evan Richardson is Ben Browder. Alonsa Matthews was physically based on Holly Marie Combs.

Now that being said, I realize that how I see my characters and how a reader will see them in their mind's eye are two very different things. This is just my process on one aspect of my novel writing. I pin their pictures to the wall while I’m writing.

Of course there were times I looked at Tyler and said “What is wrong with you?”

So how do you come up with your character looks? Comment below.